Mother’s Day 2019

May 12, 2019

All In with Pauline Hawkins

Mothers Day 2019.jpg

Being a mother is definitely a role that demands that we go “all in”. I’m thankful for all the mothers in my life who raised me, nurtured me, befriended me, helped me with my children, and offered me their hands to hold, their arms to hug, and their shoulders to cry on.

Mothers are one of the most important people in our lives and it’s great to take a day to honor that role. I know many mothers who have worked hard to provide the best life for their children, as well as people that have taken on that role without giving birth to the people they have taken under their wing. I know mothers and fathers who have had to play both roles for their children and friends who have become the “mother” in their group of friends.

I also know that Mother’s Day, like many holidays and events can be difficult for people. The best advice I can give is the advice I heard from Brene Brown. I’ve said it often on my show, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again: The most loving thing we can do for others is to create healthy boundaries for ourselves. What does that mean? It means that I know what is my issue to deal with and what is someone else’s. I don’t push my issues on someone else or blame them for my situation, and I don’t take on anyone else’s issue or blame myself for what they are angry or struggling with. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but it does get easier with practice. As far as my children are concerned, I’ve made mistakes, but I have learned from them, apologized and then did the next right thing. My children know I am always in their corner, but what they also know is that I trust them to make the best decisions for their lives. I don’t assert my will but will talk things out with them, if they want my input, so that they can make a healthy decision for their lives. It has empowered them and taught them to trust themselves and shown them what healthy boundaries look like. It’s how we show love in our family.

I wish the same for all of you.

So, for this show, I just wanted to play a few songs for those important mother’s in my life, starting with my mother Ana Galovski and my grandmother Velika Kordovich. I miss them terribly and would not be the woman I am today without them. This song is also a tribute to all the amazing women I’ve had in my life who have stood by during some difficult times.

1st song: “Because you loved me” by Celine Dion

Next, I have a few songs I want to play for my children. They are my reason for everything I do. First, I have two amazing adult daughters Nicole Galovski and Carol Linn Powell who are crushing it and have earned rock star status in my book.

2nd song: “Run The World (Girls)” by Beyoncé

Finally, for my son Ian I couldn’t imagine a more appropriate song than “Better” by Toby Lightman. Here are the lyrics:

He’ll be enough to make you cry
He’ll be enough to open your eyes
To all the little things that make this world better
He’ll give you love you never knew
He’ll give his heart only to you
And he’ll make your life oh better

So when he comes to you in the middle of the night
‘Cause he’s scared to be alone in the dark
You’ll tell him everything’s gonna be alright

‘Cause I will be your light
I will be your night
I will be that star in the sky who watches over you

You’ll tell him everything you know
You’ll tell him “oh the places you’ll go”
So you can be a good man and
Make this world better.

You’ll give him all the love you have
Even when he makes you so mad
Keep in mind, that he made your life better.

So when he comes to you and he’s so confused
Because he wants to give his heart to another
You’ll tell him everything’s gonna be just fine

‘Cause I will be your light
And when the years are going by too fast
And he’s growing up to be big and strong

Know his love for you will last
Even when he doesn’t say it to your face
Even when you have to put him in his place
Know that he’s a love that nothing in this
World can ever replace

In all things, remember: Be courageous. Stay strong. Go all in.

 

For I Am Yours: Watercolor Illustrations

I’m thrilled to share another completed illustration for my children’s book For I Am Yours.

For I Am Yours

Lorraine Watry is the amazing illustrator, and she’s been blogging about her process for her followers and students. She has never illustrated a book before, but her watercolor paintings have won numerous awards.

To read more about her process, go to:  https://www.lorrainewatrystudio.com/blog/2019/3/1/for-i-am-yours-childrens-book-illustrations-in-watercolor-by-lorraine-watry

 

Episode 70: Chiropractic Care and Women’s Health with Dr. Loren Allard

November 11, 2018

All In with Pauline Hawkins

 

Loren Jacob 1

Dr. Loren Allard is a chiropractor who specializes in women’s health. Her passionate focus is working with women in pregnancy and postpartum. She talks about creating greater awareness and connection in the body and how chiropractic is the path to sharing her gift of healing with mothers and their families. Loren shares her origin story and what it means to her to go all in.

Three songs that would be on the soundtrack of her life: 1st song: “Wild Flowers” by Tom Petty; 2nd song: “There Will Be Time” by Mumford and Sons with Baaba Maal; 3rd song: “Super Woman” by Alicia Keys.

We also continued taping after we went off air. For more information on how to listen to the bonus material, go to my Patreon page at https://www.patreon.com/paulinehawkins

For more information about Dr. Loren, go to her website: https://www.flourishnh.life/

Become a Patron at Patreon.com to support my podcast!

Episode 31: Childhood Cancer with Libby Giordano

December 12, 2017

All In with Pauline Hawkins

Libby show

Libby Giordano joins me in the studio to talk about our unusual connection: Both our sons had cancerous brain tumors. We talk about how we found out about the tumor, how we helped our sons, the wonderful way the community helped us make it through the most difficult times of our lives, and the wonderful organizations that gave our children hope and love. If ever there was a time we went all in, it was with our sons’ cancer battles. Our hope is that this podcast can be a light and a resource for anyone who needs it.

Three songs that would be on the soundtrack of our lives: 1st song: “Home” by Philip Philips; 2nd song: “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor; 3rd song: “Fix You” by Coldplay.

Learn more about Make-A-Wish NH.

Become a Patron at Patreon.com to support my podcast!

Episode 26: Single Parenting with Erin Laplante

November 7, 2017

All In with Pauline Hawkins

Erin montage

Erin Laplante joins me in the studio to talk about life as a single parent–the struggles, victories, and everything in between. The hour was filled with stories, laughter, and a few tears, as well as songs that remind us of our children.
For the soundtrack portion of the show, we decided to pick songs that reflect our relationships with our children: 1st song: “Take On The World” (“Girl Meets World” Theme) by Sabrina Carpenter, Rowan Blanchard; 2nd song: “Lane Boy” by 21 Pilots; 3rd song: “Josephine” by Brandi Carlile.

 

Episode 20: Blended Families with Lori McCarthy

September 26, 2017

All In with Pauline Hawkins

me and lori in studio

Lori McCarthy and I talk about blended families. The two of us are part of the same blended family: Lori is married to my daughter’s father. We get along so well that people are often shocked when they discover how we know each other. Most people in our situation struggle with exes or with children spending time at the other family’s house. This is not what happens in our family. We discovered early on how much better life is when we put emotions aside and learn to get along for the sake of the children we love. When you become part of a blended family, you have no choice but to go “all in”.
Three songs that would be on the soundtrack of her life: 1st song: “Mr Blue Sky” by ELO; 2nd song: “Pink Moon” by Nick Drake; 3rd song: “Another day of sun” from La La Land.

Episode 16: Discovering Your Creative Voice with Stephanie Lazenby

August 29, 2017

All In with Pauline Hawkins

Stephanie Lazenby

Stephanie Lazenby is the Education Director at Patrick Dorow Productions and has used her many skills to help children and teenagers discover their creative voices through after school programs and various nonprofits. She will also be co-hosting the TEDx Talk in Portsmouth this September.
Three songs that would be on the soundtrack of her life: 1st song: “Night Flight” by Led Zeppelin; 2nd song: “7” by Prince; and 3rd song: “I Got a Name” by Jim Croce.

Choose to be Teachers and Students

My daughter and son-in-law asked me to speak at their wedding. I was honored but also hesitant–what could I, of all people in their lives, say about marriage? The only thing I know without a doubt. With their permission, here’s my speech:

As we gather to celebrate your journey together, I want to share with you a little wisdom I’ve acquired along the way. After 15 years in education, I’ve realized a very important fact: We never stop being students. As a matter of fact, even without an education degree, we are all teachers as well.

This concept applies perfectly to our relationships. Every thought, word, and action speaks volumes for those willing to listen, watch, and engage. If we choose to be diligent observers of the people in our lives, we learn the important aspects of who they are. But as much as people observe us, they can’t know everything about us, unless we teach them. We must not be afraid to share the inner workings of our hearts with those we love and trust.

Therefore, Nicole and Tripp, you must choose to be teachers and students of each other.

As much as you think you know the person standing in front of you, there is always something to learn about each other. You must be willing to teach the other what makes you happy, angry, or sad; you must be willing to learn how to ease each other’s burdens and how and when to give each other space.

I know from watching the two of you together, that you have already learned much about each other and are not afraid to teach each other about your needs.

But as time goes on, each of you will change and grow—sometimes together; sometimes apart. But if you make the commitment to always be a student and a teacher, you will learn about the changes and teach each other who you are becoming. You will learn to give each other space and comfort when you each need it because you will teach each other when and how. Just as teachers can’t expect students to know what they have not been taught, you can’t expect the other to know how to meet your needs.

Teach each other with patience and love. Engage with each new stage with diligence and passion. Be dedicated students of each other and your relationship.

Just as you have chosen to marry each other today, Nicole and Tripp, may you choose to be teachers and students for the rest of your lives.

May Discussion with Global Teacher Bloggers: What do teachers most want to tell parents?

What do teachers most want to tell parents?

“Effective parenting refers to carrying out the responsibilities of raising and relating to children in such a manner that the child is well prepared to realize his or her full potential as a human being.  It is a style of raising children that increases the chances of a child becoming the most capable person and adult he or she can be.” Dr. Kerby T. Alvy

When it comes to fostering a life-long love of learning, parents are the biggest support for their children.

Here are my top 5 things parents need to teach their children so they are successful in school:

  1. Teach Them How to Talk to and Respect All People: Students who cannot talk to or respect other people will have a hard time in school. There are so many students who are disrespectful to others; it is truly shocking. Having positive relationships in school affects students’ abilities to function in that school. Most issues are avoidable when one realizes it is caused by lack of respect, plain and simple. Teaching children how to respect peers and adults will help them to have great relationships and help them benefit from collaboration with teachers and peers.
  2. Teach Them to Stand Up for Themselves and Others: Obviously, not all children will be respectful and kind to each other; it will be necessary, at some point, for a child to stand his or her ground. Parents need to have conversations with their children about when it will be necessary to stand up for themselves and others, and then give them the tools, words and confidence to say enough is enough in a mature way. Teaching this can be tricky as well. How do we teach our children to stand up to someone without turning into bullies themselves? There is a fine line, but it is necessary to know where that line is. Students who are not afraid to protect themselves and a weaker person have the makings of true leaders.
  3. Teach Them the Necessity of Working Hard: A new trend in student achievement seems to be that even minimal effort should be rewarded with an A (according to some students and parents). If students want A’s, they need to be willing to put in the hard work necessary to get that A. It is unfortunate that parents are supporting this trend because it leads to students only caring about the grade, not the learning. Students who do not value working hard will be susceptible to cheating, which will lead to more severe consequences as they get older.
  4. Teach Them Accountability and Responsibility: Students who are not afraid to answer for something they have done are more likely to make better decisions as they get older. If students cannot admit to wrongdoing for small things, and think they got away with it, the trouble they can cause and get into will intensify exponentially as they get older. Being accountable also means that students know their responsibilities. Students need to show up to class; they need to come prepared with all materials for that class; they need to be rested and ready to learn; and they need to find a way to connect with the material the teacher presents.
  5. Teach Them Failing is Learning: Every self-help book tells its readers: Learn from mistakes. Learn from the setbacks. Yet, the current education movements seem to revolve around the idea that failure is not an option. Failure always has and always will be an option, and people can learn some of the best lessons from their failures.

 

This list comes from Uncommon Core: 25 Ways to Help Your Child Succeed in a Cookie Cutter Educational System. Pauline Hawkins’ book is available on Amazon as well as directly from the publisher using the link in the right margin.

The Top 12 Global Teacher Blogger Discussion: March 2017

What roles do teachers have in creating kind and compassionate citizens?

Teaching is about investing in our future.

Teachers need to do more than teach content. We are so much more than knowledge transmitters and test proctors. We are human beings that have made it our life’s mission to improve the world through nurturing, guiding and educating the world’s children.

I became a teacher because I wanted to help children/teenagers become the best they could be. I had a few amazing teachers who changed my life, and I wanted to be that teacher for other people.

Teachers stand in front of the classroom and help a room full of people discover the beauty of knowledge, and discover who they are and who they can become some day. If teachers are not embracing the importance of their role, then they may be doing more harm than good. Whether we like it or not, we are role models; we are educational coaches and knowledge facilitators.

When I taught in the high school, I taught the whole child, not just my content area. I love English and everything in the curriculum: writing, grammar, literature and oral communication. But what I loved more was how the English curriculum lent itself to teaching my students life skills, particularly kindness, empathy, and compassion. I believe these characteristics are more important than content knowledge because they will help students become successful in all areas of life, not just in the classroom or with standardized tests.

As a mother, I am also a teacher and role model to my children. I am not the perfect parent by any means; however, I have been raising children for 30 years now; my daughters and stepsons are adults, living on their own, and enjoying happy, successful lives, through which they are contributing positively to society. Ian is thriving and making significant gains in school.

As I navigate through my parenting experiences, I struggle with many of the things parents and teachers are currently dealing with. I struggle as a mother on the other side of the desk with how my son is treated by teachers and students in the classroom. However, my experiences as a teacher have given me insight into my collaboration with my son’s teachers. What I do know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that if we all work at behaving as and creating kind and compassionate citizens, we can effectively help our children become happy, successful adults.

As important as it is for teachers and parents to model and teach kindness and compassion, students have a responsibility to engage with this part of their education as well. It is through the daily lessons, contrived or not, that students discover who they are and who they want to be. If we all work together, we will help students acquire the skills necessary to become civic-minded individuals who continue our work in improving the world through nurturing, guiding and educating the world’s children.

Much of this comes from the “Introduction” to my book, Uncommon Core: 25 Ways to Help Your Child Succeed in a Cookie Cutter Educational System. I have changed a few parts to focus on the question at hand.