For I Am Yours: The Story Behind the Story

When my daughter Carol Linn was about four years old, she asked me to tell her a story instead of reading one to her. She loved story time and would beg me to read at least two books a night to her, so when she asked me to tell her a story, I was in a bit of a panic. I hemmed and hawed until my eyes fell on her baby blanket that she hugged to her body. She would often use the ruffles to stroke her cheek while listening to books or watching TV.

This was the same blanket that covered her the first time we put her in her crib, the same blanket she held onto at six months old and wouldn’t let go of, and the same blanket she carried with her everywhere she went by the time she was two and could adamantly refuse to leave it.

So I began, “A soft, light-green blankie lay in a white crib, waiting for the special day. Blankie thought about the important job it had to do. Keeping a baby warm and comfortable was not a job for an ordinary blanket.”

She wiggled with excitement as I told “stories” that were based on true events. Carol Linn loved the story so much, she asked me to tell it to her again. I had a hard time remembering it the next night, so she reminded me of all the parts I had forgotten. When she asked me the third night to tell it again, I thought I’d better write it down. The two of us worked together to make sure I didn’t forget anything. I printed it out and read it to her a dozen times after that, and then she asked me to tell her a story about her stuffed animals, with the same result. Shortly after writing these stories down, Carol Linn started reading, so our nightly books became easy readers that she read to me.

The abandoned stories I wrote for Carol Linn were put into a folder and basically forgotten with a pile of notebooks. However, they stayed with me, in that folder, through two moves: from Rochester, New York to Colorado Springs and from Colorado Springs to Portsmouth, New Hampshire. It wasn’t until I moved out to New Hampshire that I opened the folder again and found the stories.

I read the blankie story and started to cry.

By this time, Carol Linn was 21, independent, with seemingly little need for me in her life. I realized then that the personified “blankie” was really the story of my love for her.
When I showed Carol Linn the story after all these years, she cried as well and whispered, “I loved my blankie so much.”

You need to know that Carol Linn had kept her blankie until she moved to New Hampshire at 18 years old. It mostly stayed at the end of her bed or in the closet, but when I went to her bedroom after that emotional goodbye, her blankie was on her bed, curled up by her pillow.

When I told her my “mother’s love” theory, we both cried even harder. Our tears revealed the bond that had never disappeared; it just took on a different form as we aged, and our needs changed. Even though Carol Linn doesn’t sit on my lap and cuddle with me anymore, she knows I am here for her with open arms if she ever needs me: “For I am yours, and you are mine, ‘til the end of time.”

To follow Lorraine Watry’s process as she illustrates , go to :

baby and blankie

For I Am Yours written by Pauline Hawkins, illustrated by Lorraine Watry, and published by WordCrafts Press is due to be released in the summer of 2019.

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Episode 80: The Hero’s Journey with Mike Parker

January 27, 2019

All In with Pauline Hawkins

mike parker

Mike Parker is a stage and film director, playwright, novelist, screenwriter, actor, and the founder of WordCrafts Press. He joined me from Middle Tennessee where he lives with wife, author Paula K. Parker.

Mike talks about his journey and how he started his publishing company; marrying his high school sweetheart and the secret to marriage; his time as an officer in the famed 5th Special Forces Group; what compels him to want to publish a particular book; some projects near and dear to his heart; how he juggles all his roles; what it means to him to go all in; and the mantra that helps him overcome struggles.

Three songs that would be on the soundtrack of his life: 1st song: “Heart of the Matter” by Don Henley; 2nd song: “Nights in White Satin” by The Moody Blues; 3rd song: “Dancing in the Minefield” by Andrew Peterson.

To learn more about WordCrafts Press or contact Mike, go to

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Episode 79: A Different Path with Jody Clark

January 13, 2019

All In with Pauline Hawkins

Jody Clark.jpg

Jody Clark grew up in the Kittery and York area of southern Maine. Contrary to the traditional path, he started off writing screenplays; when that didn’t work out, he turned those stories into novels. He now has four novels to his credit, using stories from his life and the scenic locations from his beloved state as the backdrop for his fiction.

Three songs that would be on the soundtrack of his life: 1st song: “Just Like Heaven” by The Cure; 2nd song: “Pictures of You” by The Cure; 3rd song: “The World Is…” by Matthew Ryan.

To purchase copies of Jody’s books, go to:

Post Production Note: There’s no denying that in order to be a writer, one must go all in. There’s no risk involved with having a great idea, but not everyone can turn those ideas into novels and then release them into the world. In this way, Jody Clark is a great example of going all in. Jody has found his niche: As a self-published author, he can completely control everything about his stories, which seems to be the perfect fit for him.

However, whether you self-publish or have a publisher, you will have to learn how to market your book. Book signing tours are part of the package either way. John Grisham is one well-known novelist who started his career with A Time to Kill, a self-published novel. He went all in by touring the country, on his own, and selling books out of the trunk of his car.

I also want to add that being all in is about focusing all your energy on positive outcomes, understanding what you have control over and what you don’t, manifesting the vision, recognizing open doors when they present themselves, respecting people and their experiences, and being grateful for the opportunities that come your way. ~ Pauline

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Episode 78: “The Heroin Effect” with Michael Venn

January 6, 2019

All In with Pauline Hawkins

michael venn

Michael Venn is a director and producer who made his writing and directorial debut in 2010 with the short film “Dark Scribbles”, which premiered in the short film corner at the 2010 Festival De Cannes and was an official selection at film festivals across the country. Michael’s latest project is the feature documentary film “The Heroin Effect”, inspired by the opioid crisis that is currently plaguing the United States. Michael shares how he got into the film business, his connection to music, why he decided to make The Heroin Effect, and what it means to him to go all in.

Three songs that would be on the soundtrack of his life: 1st song: “Ooh La La” by Tim Timebomb (Armstrong); 2nd song: “Stop” by Janes Addiction; 3rd song: “Robin Hood” by Jamie T.

To contact Michael or learn more about the “The Heroin Effect”, go to

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Episode 77: The Episodes that Helped Me Move Forward on My Journey

December 30, 2018

All In with Pauline Hawkins

Game Changers from 2018.jpg

For the last episode of 2018, I wanted to share excerpts from shows that helped me transform and rebuild after a few years of treading water. All of my guests have helped me in some way; unfortunately, I didn’t have time in an hour long show to play segments from all of my favorite moments of 2018. I had to narrow it down somehow, so I pulled moments from certain episodes that stayed with me, that still whisper in my ear and guide me on my path forward.

Here are the guests in order:

Dennis McCarthy’s dedication to figuring out the mystery that has dumbfounded Shakespearean researchers for hundreds of years continues to inspire me to never give up. The truth is out there, but we also need the courage and wisdom to look for it and recognize it when we see it.

Natalia Iyudin shares her wisdom and experiences as a film director. Her advice to stand firm in your convictions and to know who you are before you get into the film industry was solid. We’ve all seen how the industry can destroy those who are not ready for that life.

Sophie Grimm’s perspective on audience helps me give each person the healthy respect we all deserve. Her audition advice also helped me prep my son for his theatre audition.

Roclyn Porter is a therapist who works with first responders. In her discussion of compassion fatigue, I realized I was suffering from it. Roclyn gave me an impromptu therapy session to help me heal. I can now see the symptoms when they show up and know what to do to alleviate them.

Jamie Jenson, a former colleague, talks about her year of saying, “Yes!” Her goal to accept every opportunity that came her way has helped me to say yes to things I normally would have said no to. Those yeses have been some of my best moments this year.

Chris Carrera and his family decided to move to Costa Rica for a year to find out what was missing in their lives. His description of the rat race made me rethink some of the choices I was making.

Finally, the last two segments I share came from Devin Powell, Jay Mansfield, and Adam Rivera. Their definitions of going all in were probably the most impactful perspectives of this year, making me realize that I have not been going all in with my dreams and goals. Every moment since those interviews, I have been making choices that are bringing me closer and closer to the life I’ve been striving for.

For some musical inspiration, I chose Pink’s cover of The Greatest Showman’s “A Million Dreams”

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Episode 76: UNH Non-renewal Update with Cindy Pulkkinen

December 23, 2018

All In with Pauline Hawkins

UNH Cindy.jpg

Cindy Pulkkinen was a Principal Lecturer at UNH, and taught English as a Second Language until May 2018, when her contract was not renewed along with 16 other lecturers. Cindy gives us an update on the non-renewal lecturers and talks about the difficulties of getting a full-time job over 50; the lawsuit she and others have filed against the university; being a teacher, and the direction of education.

Three songs that would be on the soundtrack of her life: 1st song: “Instant Karma” by John Lennon; 2nd song: “Deferred Gratification” by Ani Difranco; and 3rd song: “The Joke” by Brandi Carlile.
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Episode 75: When Particles Collide with Sasha Alcott

December 16, 2018

All In with Pauline Hawkins

Sasha Alcott

Photo Credit: Coleman Rogers Photography

Sasha Alcott and her husband Chris Viner, bought a van in the summer of 2016, left their jobs and have been DIY Touring the US and Canada under the name When Particles Collide ever since. They are currently on tour in the New England area. Sasha talks about how she and Chris met, how they named their band, teaching, touring, going all in, and advice for musicians wanting to go on tour.

Three songs that would be on the soundtrack of her life: 1st song: “Lay My Body Down for You” by When Particles Collide; 2nd song: “Lost in the Supermarket” by The Clash; 3rd song: “Misunderstood” by Wilco

If you’d like to get in touch with Sasha, go to the band’s website at

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